


five times Kurt and Blaine were at their worst, and one time when they were at their best.

by superchester



Category: Glee
Genre: 5 Times, Anxiety, Dad Blaine, Daddy Kurt, Depression, Future Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, M/M, MINOR BUT IT'S THERE KIND OF, Married Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Past Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, canon break up, canon compliant until it reaches the future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-08
Updated: 2015-04-08
Packaged: 2018-03-21 20:52:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3704543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superchester/pseuds/superchester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt and Blaine snippets from season 4 onward. </p>
<p>Basically them in between things we see in the episodes. The last 4 snippets take place one after the other and are in the future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	five times Kurt and Blaine were at their worst, and one time when they were at their best.

1.

And every time Kurt rethinks it, the hurt blooms fresh in his chest, constricting his lungs and heart until he can barely breathe let alone concentrate on getting people's orders.

Kurt's just... done.

He's cried, questioned himself, taken his anger out on his drawing pad, listened to angry songs, sad songs, cried again, questioned himself...again, but now? Now he's done.

Blaine's betrayal, --and the excuses he'd tried to feed Kurt-- well, Kurt's done with it.

It's been a week since Blaine left the loft, downtrodden and teary eyed.

Kurt isn't even sure how they slept beside each other that night. Wait, yes he does. They didn't sleep. Kurt knows what it sounds like when Blaine's trying to cry silently.

(Kurt, on the other hand, had lied with his back to Blaine glaring at himself in the mirror beside his bed for hours, consumed with anger and hurt.)

Since then Blaine's texted and called and emailed, but Kurt doesn't know how to answer, so he doesn't. A small part of him feels terrible because he knows how much this must be hurting Blaine, but a bigger, less charitable, part of him feels like this bit of cruelty is justice. To make Blaine feel even a fraction of the hurt and pain that Kurt is feeling.

(It doesn't make him feel any better though.)

(Because he still loves Blaine. Despite his betrayal. And doesn't that just suck?)

So Kurt decides it's best if he stopped trying. Maybe giving up will help him move on.

(But he doesn't want to move on. He wants to reverse time and fix this before it can happen. He wants his heart unbroken and his tears unshed and Blaine's surprise trip to New York to be as amazing as it had been in all his imaginings.)

Great, he's at work and he's two breaths away from blubbering in public.

Just. Great.

He takes an early lunch break and hides in a bathroom stall for his allotted ten minutes. Kurt never thought anything would hurt more than the pain and humiliation and bullying he experienced in his first years of high school.

But this is worse than that. This is something he's not sure can get better with time.

Blaine was his first.

The first man he'd been with. His first real love. First real kiss. The first person he could trust with his heart enough to let him in.

And it's all broken and it's all gone so wrong and he doesn't know how or even if it can be fixed.

Kurt doesn't even care that the floor is less than clean when he slides down the wall, folding in on himself.

His heart is so so broken.

He can feel how broken he is and it hurts.

Feeling every bit of shame and ignoring it, he digs his cellphone out of his pocket and calls his dad.

"Burt Hummel's phone?"

Kurt bites back a whimper, "Dad?"

"Kurt? Are you crying? What happened?"

Gosh, just, Kurt really loves his dad. He can't hold back the fresh barrage of sobs, "Dad, Blaine and I broke up."

(Saying it loud nearly tears him apart.)

He can barely hear his dad's sharp intake of breath over his own sniffling.

"Oh Kurt, buddy, I'm sorry. Shhh, you're okay, it's okay."

Kurt can't even pull it together for a little bit to reply, so he cries into his phone for a good couple minutes, listening to his dad's soothing words and platitudes.

"Hey, Kurt, son, you're breaking my heart over here, just, maybe you should take a break, come home for the weekend and-"

"Dad I can't," Kurt tries to say, but it's so broken up by his gasping breaths and pathetic whimpering that he's not sure his dad will understand. "I can't, Dad I can't see him."

His dad sighs over the line, "Kurt, bud, you don't have to see him. Though I can't say I won't be seeing him. What happened between you two anyway? Blaine's always made you so happy."

Kurt swallows against the lump in his throat, scrubs away his tears with the back of his hand. His ten minutes is almost up. "It's a long story, Dad. I can't talk about it right now. I have to go though, I'm at work."

"Wait, Kurt, I mean it, you gotta take a break, kid. Give yourself some time to heal, or fix things, whatever it is you need to do, just-"

Kurt stands, uses some toilet paper to wipe his face, "Okay Dad, I'll check my schedule, see if I can't come home for a bit. Thanks for talking to me, I guess..." He blows out a breath, he can't break down again. His time's up. "I guess I just needed to talk to you for a little. I love you, I have to go, bye."

He hangs up, closes his eyes for a moment.

Time's up.

\----

Blaine spends a week in bed crying off and on. He doesn't know if his parents are ignoring him or if he's ignoring them.

He doesn't eat, he barely sleeps, but he spends every second of that week wallowing in self-loathing.

He'd ruined the best thing that had ever happened. The only thing that had helped him really get over what had happened to him at that Sadie Hawkins dance all those years ago.

His self-confidence at Dalton, he'd realised, had stemmed mostly from his ability to make friends after spending so much time on his own.

And Kurt? Kurt had made him feel more brave and strong and worthy than he thought he'd ever feel. He'd made the things that chipped away at him beneath his smile and his confident words fade away.

Kurt made everything better.

And now he was gone because Blaine was an idiot. He was an idiot that hated to be alone. Craved companionship. An idiot who couldn't stand that Kurt was busy and unable to spend every minute with Blaine and instead of dealing with it and pulling himself together, Blaine ran to the first pair of arms he could find.

He'd been mistaken in believing that he could replace the way Kurt made him feel with just anyone.

He'd lost his best friend, his first love and it was entirely his fault.

Blaine burrows further under his sheets, pulls his duvet over his head and cries himself to sleep.

\----

2.

Blaine has never admitted this to anyone, (not even himself, to be honest) but he’s the last person on earth who should be giving encouraging advice about being brave to anyone.

He is… weak. To say the least.

He’s never been able to stand up for himself, fight for himself, or even talk to someone about himself, ( in a way that was actually truthful), and here he is letting people think he’s some sort of well-adjusted individual.

The thing is… Blaine fakes it till he makes it.

But sometimes, like right now, he just doesn’t really make it.

He thinks maybe that’s why the dynamic of his relationship with Kurt has changed over the years. As Kurt gets older he gets stronger and courageous and brave and he grows and evolves and Blaine just doesn’t.

And he thinks that’s because he never to the time to be himself. And because he’s never been himself, he was never able to grow like Kurt has.

He feels like that’s why he’s having such a hard time adjusting to fit into Kurt’s life...because he doesn’t even fit into his own.

Like, part of him knows who he is and what he wants to be, and another part of him just isn’t anything.

He’s Blaine the Warbler, Blaine Anderson son of successful lawyer parents who love him but don’t “get him, Blaine Kurt’s boyfriend, and finally Blaine gained weight and lost all his self-confidence and hurt his boyfriend because of it.

It’s a confusing bundle of insecurity and fear all jumbled up inside him, choking him up and making him cry like a baby over nothing whenever Kurt tries to talk to him about it.

It’s… just another thing he needs to work on.

3.

Kurt’s never been the best at reading people’s feelings. Sometimes he just gets so caught up in whatever story he wants to share, he just doesn’t get the look Blaine is giving him until he’s steamrolled over his husband’s feelings and steered them straight into an argument.

He does it again today, when he gets home from a full day at the theatre alone because Blaine stayed home with their sick baby.

Gio, (short for Giovanni), came down with a cold the day before, and, while they’d both wanted to stay home and spoil and coddle their son, one of them had to make sure their director didn’t murder anyone in the crew.

It’s been a long day.

Kurt missed Blaine, missed his son, and on top of that dealt with temperamental actors and crew members and honestly? He just wants to get home and have a relaxing evening with his family.

So, after struggling through traffic and disgruntled people, he gets to their home in Greenwich Village in less than ideal spirits.

And that’s before he hears the crying. (If it can be called crying. It’s more like screaming.)

He opens the door and the noise is piercing. He pulls his shoes off at the door, wincing as the cries increase in pitch. Their son has Kurt’s vocal chords, that’s for sure.

“Blaine?” he calls, probably not loud enough to be heard over the screaming. Honestly, what on earth is going on?

He finds his husband rocking Gio back and forth in his arms, hair a shambles and clothes a mess. Blaine looks up when he sees Kurt, and there are tears in his eyes.

“Kurt-”

Blaine’s mouth is doing that ‘I’m about to lose it and sob my eyes out’ wobble, which, right now? Kurt is just too tired to deal with.

He strides over, pulls Giovanni from Blaine’s arms, and cradles him to his chest.

“He just won’t stop crying, I’ve tried everything, I just-”

Kurt shakes his head, “Go take a break, honey.”

(He didn’t really mean it as harshly as it comes out, and maybe if he’d just listened to Blaine for a second, they wouldn’t have had to fight over this later, but he didn’t so when he finally gets Gio to sleep, he spends the rest of the night arguing with Blaine.)

“Blaine, sweetie, I understand that you’re stressed. I’m stressed to, today was really hard at the theatre without you, you have no idea-”

“I have no idea?”

Wrong thing to say, clearly.

“Kurt, do you have any idea how hard today was for me? Do you think staying home with our sick son was an easy job? Do you know what it feels like when your baby cries for an hour and he’s hurting and you don’t know how to help him?”

Blaine’s falling apart by the word at this point.

Kurt will always be the first to admit that he can be blind to other people’s feelings, and that he isn’t always the most considerate.

But he feels like he’s really failed Blaine this time.

4.

Gio doesn’t wake up for the rest of the night. Blaine know that for a fact because he was up the whole night staring angrily at the wall and running over the argument they’d just had over and over.

He knows Kurt doesn’t mean to be inconsiderate. He knows this. And Blaine knows that he isn’t always the best at telling Kurt how he feels. He kind of just lets everything build up inside until he practically explodes.

But tonight wasn’t that.

They made an agreement after that fateful day Blaine visited Kurt in New York for the first time. The day he’d told Kurt he’d been “with someone”. That they’d never, ever go to bed angry again.

Over the years it’s a hard pact to keep, but they make it stone number one, right beside honesty and trust, and keep it no matter what.

Tonight though. Tonight Blaine goes to bed angry.

5.

Kurt sits on the couch for a long time.

He hates fighting with Blaine, but more than that, he hates how much he’s hurt him.

1.

Kurt feels Blaine shift beside him.

He hates this. Hates the wall between them right now.

He’d said sorry. Of course he had. But Blaine had just looked at him like he couldn’t believe it was Kurt he was seeing and said, “Are you?” before he’d left the living room and got ready for bed.

Kurt had followed later, stopping in on Gio to make sure he wasn’t smothering himself in his blankets, before he did his own nightly routine.

He’s been staring at the ceiling for hours, it feels like, listening to Blaine shift restlessly beside him, neither of them able to sleep.

Really Kurt’s just trying to get up the courage to say something. But even if he did get up the courage, what would he say?

Blaine shifts again and Kurt can’t stop himself.

“Blaine? Are you awake?”

Blaine rolls onto his back, stairs at the ceiling with Kurt.

“Yeah.”

Kurt turns onto his side, props himself up on an elbow to look down at Blaine whose features he can just barely make out in the dim light.

“I really am sorry. I was being a selfish jerk.” He takes a chance a uses his free hand to cup the side of his husband’s face.

Blaine let’s out a shaky breath, bites his lips between his teeth. “I know you are, but Kurt, this isn’t even the first time, I just- Sometimes I feel like you don’t see me at all.”

These are old insecurities. They resurface every now and then, particularly when Kurt is being a diva and Blaine is feeling neglected.

Their recurrence doesn’t make them any less heart breaking.

“Blaine, baby, I always see you. I just get caught up in myself sometimes, and I’m sorry I hurt you, so sorry.” He strokes Blaine’s cheek bone with his thumb, leans down and presses kisses to his eyelids, his forehead, his nose. “I love you so much, and I’ll stay home with you tomorrow, the theatre can survive a day without us, and we’ll handle Gio together, and I’ll make it up to you.”

He lowers himself further, presses kisses along the side of Blaine’s face, down his neck, and back up until he’s hovering over parted lips.

“I love you too. And I really want you to be here tomorrow.” Blaine whispers, eyes flickering between Kurt’s lips and eyes. “And...maybe… you can make it up to me...now?”

Kurt grins and presses their lips together.

They don’t talk anymore after that.

**Author's Note:**

> First foray into the Glee fandom.
> 
> Comments and Kudos are always cherished! Seriously, those things give writers life and courage.


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